Day 297 – Names & AA
I put together this little chart to document the changes in my weight since I started hormones. I am going to try to work in some other details such as breast growth to show the correlation between weight and fat distribution.
I spent this afternoon filling out the different forms to get my name legally changed. (Yay!) The process consists of several steps including going before a judge to have a name change petition approved, changing the name on your social security card, getting a new drivers license with your new name on it, and changing any other official documents (Passport, etc). Unfortunately you need an official copy of your birth certificate to send in with your petition and my town’s court house closes at noon on Fridays so I have to wait until Monday to mail it but 2 more days isn’t going to make a big difference considering it can take 6-8 weeks to get a court date. The Initial name change petition costs $165 and that is the most expensive of them all.
I also got my laptop back from Apple and it is running good as new with a brand new logic board, free of charge! Without further adieu, here are the new ask Abbey questions for today.
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Q: Can I ask you about your sexual orientation? Do you consider yourself a lesbian? And what about your girlfriend? Did you both started as kind of an heterosexual couple or you were always out with her and as a girl? Sorry if asking this seems somehow weird, but I’m questioning my own sexual orientation a lot and see you and your gf (even if only in pics and posts) and think to myself “thats the kind of couple I’d like to be in” (it’s a feeling that I get from seeing you, not something rational). So I think that hearing about it might somehow help me think about myself, in a way.
Take care Abbey! 🙂
Greetings from Argentina,
-Brenda
A: Hello Brenda! That is a perfectly reasonable question, it is something I haven’t really touched on before. (Other than mentioning I had a girlfriend) To answer your question, I identify myself as a lesbian. Sam, my girlfriend, is a little more in a gray area on this one so I can’t really answer on her behalf. I think she kind of thinks of me as in-between, or the best of both worlds. (I like the idea of a mixed super-gender)
When we first met she actually didn’t know what I was because we had one of the same classes and she had a huge crush on me but didn’t know who I was. However, when she did find out who I was she learned that I was trans and still wanted to get to know me. She has never really thought of me as male so I would say it’s always been a lesbian relationship. I find nothing wrong with a relationship between two females, trans-females, or any combination of the two and I think it isn’t necessary to fit into a specific orientation.
I hope this was helpful in your your understanding of yourself!
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Q: I apologize if this is a bit personal for your blog! Do you plan on getting Sexual Reassignment Surgery? If so, how important do you think the surgery is to maintaining your identity? If not, do you just feel it isn’t necessary to go that far?
A: At this very moment I do not feel the need to get SRS. Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to have a vagina, but due to certain restrictions in the cost and the procedure itself, I have chosen not to get it done. I am perfectly okay with having a penis, to me it isn’t what in your pants that maters, it is how you feel on the inside and how you identify yourself.
That being said, if we have some significant advances in SRS technology within the next 10 years and my finances allow it, I would definitely not rule out the idea of getting it done.
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Thats it for now, I’m working on putting together a brief timeline of when I started each “step” in transitioning so keep an eye out for it in the transition section.
-Abbey
AA: Episode One
Here are the first few Ask Abbey questions. I will wait util I get 3-5 questions and then post them on the front page.
Enjoy 🙂
Q: Do you think it’s more important to aim your blog at the trans community or reach a wider audience?
-Summer Day
A: I think it is equally important to provide content for both members of the trans community, and those who may just be looking in to check it out. The other day I realized that there are all the girls who want to live stealth and hid their trans status. That is their own decision, but what I realized, was that if everyone is in stealth, how is the community going to get to know trans people and begin to accept them? The more visible we are, the more they will interact with us and learn to accept us. The same way Gay people have started to gain acceptance over the last decade. The more of us out there showing the world that we are just as normal as them, the sooner we will get equality.
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Q: Being defined as trans can be a drag because it narrows everything down to that focus. Do you have other interests or ways of socialising that help keep you level and be seen by other people as a rounded person? – Summer Day
A: Being trans is only one small part of who I am, I have many creative sides and loving sides hidden deep within. As for hobbies, I enjoy 3D sculptural art and I do thing like welding, jeweler crafting and glassblowing. I am also a musician, though I haven’t been putting much time into my music as of late. My social skills may be a bit lacking, but I can get by.
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Q: Your story is an arresting and different alternative. As an artist do you see any mileage in using it dramatically or commercially one day? Is there something about your experience that is making you as a person and gives you a platform? – Summer Day
I do see the possibility of my being trans becoming part of my art work in the future. I am interested in art that blends the lined between masculine and feminine. If I ever do any modeling that would be a perfect example of pushing the boundaries of gender in art.
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Q: Some trans have been accused of being selfish and alienated their families. Do you think your experience of slowing down and taking time to show you care for them has helped the situation be more satisfying for everyone? – Summer Day
A: I think the effort I made to include my family in the transition process undoubtedly helped everyone get through it. After going through that most of my family is supportive and there for me. If I had done it the other way and simply started self-meding and changing who I was without them knowing, I would’ve eventually had to confront them about it and they probably wouldn’t be as supportive after being lied to and left behind. In order to keep your family healthy I think it is important to bring them with you, get them to learn about what it is to be trans, help them understand that you are going through. It is definitely a process but you will eventually get through and in the end you will have your family standing at your back.
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Q: How did your family react to your coming out as trans? What part of that was most difficult?
A: Overall my family has reacted really well to me being trans. Only 2 or 3 people in my extended family disagree with it. That being said, it was still a terrifying experience. The hardest part for me was taking the first step and coming out to my mom. I was 18 years old and one night I sat down by her while she was on the computer. I told her I had to tell her something but it took me at least half an hour to get it out. Once I finally got it out she was shocked and cried, she is a very emotional person. It was very tough for my parents. We tried going to a few therapists but my mom broke down one day on the way home and it just made me feel so bad. I basically dropped the subject for 3 years because I was afraid of seeing my parents like that.
Fast forward to a year ago, I had still been dealing with my trans feelings and it wasn’t getting any easier. I decided I had to do something about it this time. I sat down in the same chair I did 3 years before and told her I still felt like I needed to be a girl. It was difficult at first but we found a good therapist and they came to accept the new me. Now they are doing pretty well, my mom still messes up and calls me a he sometimes but she usually catches herself.
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Q: How tall are you? If you don’t mind me asking. =)
-Ashley
A: Not at all! I am 6′ 3″. growing up I had every gym teacher asking me to play basketball. =)
Ask Abbey
Ask Abbey is now up and running! AA is a place where you can ask me questions or see what other people have asked in the past. My goal is to create a more organized section to be able to search comments to find what you need to know!
Hopefully it works out.
Weight: 181
One thing I forgot to mention earlier is that I am trying to gain a little weight. Not a ton, just about 5 or 10 pounds to get up to around 190. I feel like the extra fat will help push along breast development.
Abbey
Day 295 – Coming Up Blank
Here is a picture from just after my 3rd electrolysis appointment(Chin is super swollen), I’ll be making a timeline of my facial hair removal soon.
I’m posting this from my girlfriend’s laptop because yesterday the screen on my Macbook Pro stopped working. It wase working fine when I closed the lid but when my girlfriend opened it the display wouldn’t react. I tried every method in the book to fix it and nothing worked. I tried hooking it up to my TV but that didn’t seem to work either so it looks like the graphics processor died. I took it to the genius bar at the Apple store and Applecare will cover the repair despite the laptop being from 2008. I looked it up and the particular NVIDIA graphics processor in it has been known to prematurely fail. In the end my Macbook with a new logic board should be on my doorstep in a weeks time free of charge! I am impressed that Apple is making the effort to replace faulty components in their products.
here is an article talking about the Issue: http://support. apple.com/kb/ts2377
Like I said, yesterday was my 3rd electrolysis appointment. Things went pretty well and we cleared all but a few hairs on my chin and we will be able to start on my upper lip next week. I know I’ve said it before but now I’m sure that we will be able to do a full clear in 2 more treatments!
My breasts are doing well, they definitely stick out a bit and look odd if I don’t wear a bra.
I’m working on a new feature to allow you to ask me questions and be able to see my responses to other peoples questions too! it should be up at some point today or tomorrow.
Abbey
Day 290 – Victoria’s Secret
This post is going to be all about breasts and as the tittle implies, I did a little shopping. Me and my girlfriend went to the mall yesterday with the purpose of finding a bra that fits. first we tried Jcpenny, but they didn’t have anything good so we stopped in at Victoria’s Secret.
I was a little nervous at first but the staff was very nice and helpful. They asked what size we where looking for and when I said I don’t know they offered to size me.
They took me back to the fitting rooms and took my measurements to figure out what size I needed. Then they gave me a couple different styles to try on. It turns out I take a 36a with a little room to grow. I found a cotton wireless bra that i really liked. It is so much more comfortable and i don’t really need the support of an underwire. I ended up paying $33. It was definitely worth it to have a bra i feel comfortable in.
On the topic of breasts, since raising my estrogen dose and starting Fenugreek my nipples have been getting much more sensitive. It seemes i’m finally getting the afromentioned chest pains everyone talks about. I think that it can be attributed more to the estrogen than the Fenugreek. They also feel a lot fuller than before. I think I will be seeing some significant development over the course of the next few months!
-Abbey
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