This is just going to be a quick entry for the sake of helping out a boy in need.
I recently found out about a boy who’s mother is fighting for custody for her son, Jake, who’s father has filed a lawsuit for full costody because the mother is supporting their child’s chosen gender. It makes me sick that a father would actively force a child to obey his opinion of what gender they should be by taking them away from their only supporting parent.
It is disgusting.
So I ask that you donate what you can to help this boy. Even if you are not financially able to donate, it would be wonderful if you could share Jake’s story and spread the word.
The time I’ve spent popping estrogen pills.
That’s right, this is my 3 year anniversary since starting hormones, and now I have rent stuck in my head.
Quite a bit has changed in the past 3 years and I am genuinely glad that I made the decision to transition so long ago, even if I thought I was too old. Trust me, 21 is not too old. It is a daunting step, but absolutely worth it. I have had my fair share of ups and downs, which is partially what I am going to talk about today, but in the end I am still happy with the choices I’ve made.
The last time I gave a substantial update was around the beginning of the year. My girlfriend and I are still together, we are pretty madly in love, which creates it’s own set of problems. More on that later. Over the summer I did some more over-hire work at the music theater, mostly welding. I got to design an awesome set of handles for the gate into Oz (Thats right, we did the wizard of Oz). After that they did Cats, which I only helped on load in for. I was pretty off the wall about it because I am a cat myself. I was freaking out running around the super-sized set pieces and climbing up the steel cat perches suspended above the stage. On opening night I even had a confrontation with one of the cats in the aisle. I meowed at him and he froze, looking at me. I meowed again and as he slowly backed away I hissed. I am mildly insane.
Speaking of insane, I am re-evaluating my mental health. My girlfriend recently went into the hospital and is now in Florida trying to get her life back together. Since we are so in love, being apart is wreaking havoc on my emotional well-being (especially with our particular relationship). While she was in the hospital here I had a few mental breakdowns because it was particularly triggering for me. I took a medical leave of absence to get myself figured out this semester. At one point I stopped caring and took a bunch of pills, including 40mg of Ambien. I woke up the next day with my mom sleeping next to me, wondering what the hell happened. Honestly, she probably should have taken me to the hospital.
This whole ordeal has been quite trying on my state of mental health. I am questioning whether the Zoloft and Wellbutrin I am on are doing anything at all. I need to be re-evaluated to determine what my problems actually are. I feel like my anxiety and panic attacks are the root of many of my problems. I’ve had an increasing number of panic attacks recently. I have had some incidents of self harm as well.
I need to be in some sort of program, and yesterday I was evaluated and referred to a partial hospitalization program, where you are at the hospital from 9am-3pm doing group and individual therapy. I think it will help me, but I am not sure if I actually need inpatient. Last night I had a particularly bad panic attack because I was thinking about all the people I would have to be around in the program. I eventually started scratching myself but had enough willpower to stop myself before any significant damage was done. It scared me a lot. Hopefully I end up where I need to be.
On a more positive note, I have been trying to take this time off from class to do things I’ve always wanted to do. I am trying to expand my Etsy store and this past friday I took a blacksmithing workshop and had a blast making this forged “S” hook and pointer.
On an even brighter note, I have a consultation on the 19th of November with Christine McGinn in Pennsylvania. I am going to be talking to her about FFS, breast augmentation, as well as GRS. I am making a strong effort to get the procedures covered under insurance. Chances are I will focus on the FFS and breast augmentation first because they will have a greater effect on my self confidence.
Anyways I will try to get some answers up to the Ask Abbey questions that have been piling up in my inbox, sorry to those who haven’t had their questions answered! I am also going to update my face and breast development timelines soon.
Until next time,
SO, since it’s been nearly a month since I got my name changed I am finally going to get a new license. I am getting ready to go with my girlfriend to the RMV today. I put it off so long because I kept making excuses, “My hair doesn’t look good”, “My face looks bad!”, “I have nothing to wear!”, but it is time I finally got this done.
This picture is from the student art show this month, I am really happy with the way it came out. Anyways, I need to finish getting ready. I may post a picture of my new license when I get it.
Have a good weekend!
Some of you may or may not have heard about this already, but last night the play “8” aired live on youtube, based on the 2010 trial in the U.S. District court to overturn Prop 8. I think the cast of stars does an excellent job portraying those involved with the trial and gave an incredibly emotional performance. It runs about 90 minutes long but I highly recommend watching all of it.
Another thing I wanted to tell you about is the 2012 LGBT Census. You can take the census at the link below and it should only take 10-20 minutes. it is completely anonymous and the date will help spread awareness on LGBT issues. I just did it myself, check it out!
I just wanted to do a quick update,
I had a great christmas and spent a lot of time with my family but I’m glad things are starting to wind down. I’ve spent most of the past week hanging out with my girlfriend and playing Skyrim/Little Big Planet 2 on my new ps3 (thank you mom and dad!). Both are great games if you haven’t given them a try. Yesterday my girlfriend and I went shopping and while we didn’t find any clothes, I did pick up some Urban Decay 24/7 Rockstar eyeliner at Sephora and a new face cleanser from Lush. I am excited about both of them and I will be sure to comment on them in the future once I know whether they are each worth the $20 price tag.
The last thing I have to talk about is a rather exciting bit of news, and possibly the only important thing I will talk about in this post. I have finally sent in the forms to legally change my name! I am so excited that I am finally moving forward with the next step of my transition. Once my paperwork is processed(most likely within a few weeks) I will get a call from the family & probate court and I will have to pick a court date to go before a Judge or court Magistrate to have my name changed. After that It should be pretty much official unless I have to run a note in the paper saying that I am changing my name.
I finally decided to change my first and middle name to Abbey Lorraine. My mother’s name is Lorraine and I thought it sounded pretty good with Abbey. The best part is that my initials will be the exact same as they were before, ALK.
On that note I hope that everyone has a wonderful new year and I will talk to you all again in 2012!