AA: Episode One
Here are the first few Ask Abbey questions. I will wait util I get 3-5 questions and then post them on the front page.
Q: Do you think it’s more important to aim your blog at the trans community or reach a wider audience?
A: I think it is equally important to provide content for both members of the trans community, and those who may just be looking in to check it out. The other day I realized that there are all the girls who want to live stealth and hid their trans status. That is their own decision, but what I realized, was that if everyone is in stealth, how is the community going to get to know trans people and begin to accept them? The more visible we are, the more they will interact with us and learn to accept us. The same way Gay people have started to gain acceptance over the last decade. The more of us out there showing the world that we are just as normal as them, the sooner we will get equality.
Q: Being defined as trans can be a drag because it narrows everything down to that focus. Do you have other interests or ways of socialising that help keep you level and be seen by other people as a rounded person? – Summer Day
A: Being trans is only one small part of who I am, I have many creative sides and loving sides hidden deep within. As for hobbies, I enjoy 3D sculptural art and I do thing like welding, jeweler crafting and glassblowing. I am also a musician, though I haven’t been putting much time into my music as of late. My social skills may be a bit lacking, but I can get by.
Q: Your story is an arresting and different alternative. As an artist do you see any mileage in using it dramatically or commercially one day? Is there something about your experience that is making you as a person and gives you a platform? – Summer Day
I do see the possibility of my being trans becoming part of my art work in the future. I am interested in art that blends the lined between masculine and feminine. If I ever do any modeling that would be a perfect example of pushing the boundaries of gender in art.
Q: Some trans have been accused of being selfish and alienated their families. Do you think your experience of slowing down and taking time to show you care for them has helped the situation be more satisfying for everyone? – Summer Day
A: I think the effort I made to include my family in the transition process undoubtedly helped everyone get through it. After going through that most of my family is supportive and there for me. If I had done it the other way and simply started self-meding and changing who I was without them knowing, I would’ve eventually had to confront them about it and they probably wouldn’t be as supportive after being lied to and left behind. In order to keep your family healthy I think it is important to bring them with you, get them to learn about what it is to be trans, help them understand that you are going through. It is definitely a process but you will eventually get through and in the end you will have your family standing at your back.
Q: How did your family react to your coming out as trans? What part of that was most difficult?
A: Overall my family has reacted really well to me being trans. Only 2 or 3 people in my extended family disagree with it. That being said, it was still a terrifying experience. The hardest part for me was taking the first step and coming out to my mom. I was 18 years old and one night I sat down by her while she was on the computer. I told her I had to tell her something but it took me at least half an hour to get it out. Once I finally got it out she was shocked and cried, she is a very emotional person. It was very tough for my parents. We tried going to a few therapists but my mom broke down one day on the way home and it just made me feel so bad. I basically dropped the subject for 3 years because I was afraid of seeing my parents like that.
Fast forward to a year ago, I had still been dealing with my trans feelings and it wasn’t getting any easier. I decided I had to do something about it this time. I sat down in the same chair I did 3 years before and told her I still felt like I needed to be a girl. It was difficult at first but we found a good therapist and they came to accept the new me. Now they are doing pretty well, my mom still messes up and calls me a he sometimes but she usually catches herself.
Q: How tall are you? If you don’t mind me asking. =)
A: Not at all! I am 6′ 3″. growing up I had every gym teacher asking me to play basketball. =)