I hope everyone else is having a good National Coming Out Day, maybe you even came out or know someone who did! For those of you who don’t know, today is a day observed by the LGBT community celebrating the simple act of coming out, Obligatory Wikipedia Link. I will admit I didn’t know what day it was until I saw a friend had come out on Facebook. I was later reminded of the fact when my girlfriend came out to me as being Panssexual. Initially I was a little surprised, but I already knew she was attracted to men, women, and hybrids (COUGH). Regardless it makes no difference in our relationship and I lover her and I am happy for her.
Anyways, I’ve been mostly occupied with school lately. I’ve gotten to the point in the year where all of my classes have their first big assignments due, ironically they all fall within a week of each other. I had my first speech and Organic Chemistry exam last week and this week I’ve got my first photo assignment due. I’ve got some nice landscape shots and I am enjoying the class quite a bit. Maybe I will scan some of my photography and post it here. I should probably post some of my art as well so you know a little more about me than the fact that I am trans.
Now to talk a little bit about how my transition is going.
This week marked my 12th hour of electrolysis. I can’t believe I’ve endured 12 hours of electric shock therapy! The hair on my upper lip is starting to get extremely fine and 4 days after I shave it is still hardly visible. The hair on my chin is still a bit thicker but they are all soft and blonde. By the end of 45 minutes she has to hunt for the smaller hairs to treat. I think I have at least 5-10 more hours of treatment before I get down to needing a very minimal amount of maintenance.
HRT is going well, it’s been over a month since I doubled my estrogen and I still feel fine. Breast development is coming along nicely, I think my right breast has passed the point of looking like a moob and actually looks like it belongs on a female. My left breast on the other hand, is still a little lacking. It is definitely filling out, but it is noticeably smaller than the other. Goes to show how uneven they grow. Though I can say that they itch and hurt quite a bit. You can feel any little think you brush up against, let alone bump into.
I am really starting to feel comfortable being full time at school. I haven’t had any incidents in the past month and a lot of the things I used to worry about really aren’t an issue. At this point I have no problems walking into the women’s room and that is a major step for me. Not only because of the controversy over trangendered people and bathrooms, but also because of the fact that it is a safe haven for women that I am being accepted into without refutal.
All in all things are going pretty well for me. I hope everyone else has a wonderful week and until next time,
Here is a quick update with some Ask Abbey questions. Hope everyone is having a good weekend!
Q: Have you always been attracted to just girls and never boys throughout your life, and have you dated females before your current girlfriend?
I’ve always been attracted to girls, so much so that I turned into one. Before my current girlfriend I had 2 other relationships that I would consider serious. One was when I was 18 before I really understood that I was trans, and the other was when I was 21 and starting my transition. The second was transgendered like myself. What really attracts me to people is their appearance/figure, and their personality, NOT what is in their pants. I am attracted to girls regardless of their genitalia.
Q: You mentioned self-harming in your post explaining your period of depression. Had you self-harmed in the past, and did involve cutting, burning, or some other method of injury? Is this something you are concerned about happening the future, or was it a one-time desperate kind of action?
A: Before I had my issues of depression there were a few unrelated instances in the past where I had harmed myself. When I hurt myself I would cut or scratch myself with a knife or a pointed object. I cut mostly on my arms or hand. The only real visible scar left is one on my hand but it blends in pretty well. I have had thoughts of self-harm since my hospitalization but they are much less frequent and only occur during times of heavy emotional stress or trauma. I think the tendency to look toward self-harm for relief is partially ingrained into my psyche, but with proper coping techniques and a more effective method of release those tendencies can be overcome. It is like unlearning a bad habit or impulse, we come to fall back on them and it takes time and effort to develop healthier habits.