Hey babe, come here often? 😉
Because I apparently don’t HAH!
But really. I hope everyone out there is having a healthy transition into fall(see what I did there?) I know the change of seasons can bring wonderful things like pretty leaves and apple cider, but also the bittersweet goodbye kiss of summer, and the frosty embrace of winter. I usually get a pretty stong dose of the SAD(seasonal affective disorder.) A lack of vitamin D from the sun does some serious damage to my mood and often leads to emo hermiting in my room all winter. Not something I look forward to.
For that reason I have decided just now(15 minutes ago) to reach out to friends and potential new friends to forge new bonds to get through the winter months and improve my life in general. Being alone all the time sucks.
Something interesting that I have been contemplating is the idea that I am actually an extrovert with severe social anxiety. The topic came up in conversation with the girl I have been dating recently and it challenges a pretty basic thing I though I knew about myself. But apparently not.
I am going to go take a nice hot bath and shave my legs, you may hear from me sooner than later! ^-^
Hi guys, I hope everyone is doing well. The weather is finally starting to get nice and I am excited to finally be able to go outside. (I don’t do enough of that.)
I haven’t been doing much lately, mostly thinking, making jewelry, hanging out with friends, and playing Guild Wars 2. I have started seeing my girlfriend again. We are patching things together, hopefully we will grow from our experiences in the future.
Another thing I am working on is deciding my path for the future. I do not think going back to school right now would be in my best interest. That leaves me to finding a job, or some sort of apprenticeship/internship in the field I am interested in. I have been looking at theater internships around the country that would provide housing and a stipend while working and learning new skills. It would be a good experience but I am not sure it is what I want to do.
Anyways I just wanted to give a little update, I am a little behind on emails so I am sorry if you sent me a message and I haven’t answered yet.
Q: Been a while since you posted anything. How are you doing?
A: I have been doing alright, thank you. Now that you mention it, it has been quite a while since I posted anything, 212 days to be exact.
Today’s soundtrack provided by Oingo Boingo.
The last time I posted anything was right around the time I was working at the music theater. I stopped doing work there when the fall semester started, but I learned quite a bit about metalwork and carpentry while I was there. It was definitely a positive experience. Now onto the present.
To be completely honest, the past four months have been hell. I will give you the incredibly abridged version as you probably don’t want to hear all the details. I started out doing okay in the semester but things quickly went downhill. I was having a hard time focusing on my work and slowly stopped going to classes, one-by-one. Throughout this my girlfriend and I were growing further and further apart. Something was missing and we were not meeting each other’s needs. We tried some different things but it wasn’t working.
I ended up failing all of my classes and things eventually culminated in our separation. It is still painful for me to think about it, and I loved her very much, but I have no choice but to move on. The future holds better things and I already see a light in the black.
Since the break up, I’ve been able to explore another side of myself in alternative lifestyle. It’s something that I’ve been interested in for a long time and I am glad to be able to now. For the record I am being responsible in my explorations and I would appreciate it if any family who read this keep to themselves or contact me privately.
Now, do you remember that light in the dark I was talking about? Well I’ve met someone wonderful who I’ve been seeing for the past month. We get along quite well and we just naturally meld. I will post a picture of us from new years.
Transition-wise there isn’t a whole lot to say. I’ve been living life as myself for over two years now and though there has been some rough water I am genuinely glad I transitioned. At the moment I am switching my anti-depressant to Zoloft in the hopes that it will help more than the Effexor and lower my anxiety levels. I am slowly realizing that my social anxiety is the root of a lot of inner turmoil. It will be at least a couple weeks until I know if that does anything for me.
That just about sums it up, I am taking two classes this semester, trying to keep my course load light. I want to try to get back into some creative hobbies such as music or chainmail as an outlet. Lets let this year be better than the last!